She was a great woman

Benazir Bhutto Assassinated

Home for the Holidays

My job is great. Most of the year I work from home, have challenging and stimulating assignments, and get to travel occasionally. But sometimes the occasional travel piles up in a row. This month I have been to New York, Kuala Lumpur, and Kentucky (the latter being a family trip). From December 1st until the 23rd, I only slept at home 3 nights transitioning from one trip to the other. I missed out on all the holiday social events, all the hectic shopping, and tons of fun UUCA events.

We did a fun Christmas tour. It started in Kentucky with my family there. Audrey and the boys got extremely spoiled and we all had a blast. Christmas Eve was spent with former family members and my Parents. Santa came and treated our new family well. After a few hours of playing, it was off to non-custodial parents. We finished the tour up with dessert and drinks at Leah's parents.

It was a crazy month for other reasons, too. In New York, I proposed to Leah. As some of you know, I am a single dad and she has two boys. So we are combining households. It is very exciting. I love having a full house again, and Audrey loves her new soon-to-be brothers and her new soon-to-be stepmother. In fact she has started referring to them as such. This all makes me very happy.

However, my two bedroom to a bit too small for the full circus. So we are looking for a bigger place. The only hard rules are being inside the Morningside school district, 3 bedrooms, and less than $2000 a month. We're not ready to buy yet, so we are looking for something to rent. It's a challenging task, being in the middle of the holidays, but the sooner we can make this happen, the easier life will be for everyone in the family.

So while it's nice to have the next week off of work, it will be spent getting things ready for my new family. Do not mistake this post for complaints... I am loving this new phase in my life. However, it is a bit tiring. Tonight I do get to sleep in my bed with my fiancée in my house. :)

I got some cool books from Leah... I'll post about that soon. Happy Holidays everyone.

Ann Richards, on Her Father

"I've always had the feeling that I could do anything; my daddy told me I could, and I was in college before I found out he might be wrong."

--Ann Richards, feminist and governor of Texas, 1991 to 1995.

New Age Frauds & Plastic Shamans

I found an interesting website today, NAFPS: New Age Frauds & Plastic Shamans. This site is great, because when I was a teenager I hungered for knowledge about American Indian spirituality. I almost invested money into a place offering me training. Luckily for me, I found my own path by meeting a Cherokee shaman. I wish I had a site like this to help guide me back then.

Do you think you are "Indian at heart" or were an Indian in a past life? Do you admire native ways and want to incorporate them into your life and do your own version of a sweat lodge or a vision quest? Have you seen ads, books, and websites that offer to train you to be come a shaman in an easy number of steps, a few days on the weekend, or for a fee?

Have you really thought this all the way through? Have you thought about how native people feel about what you might want to do?

Please think about these important points before you take that fateful step and expend time, money, and emotional investment:

Native people DO NOT believe it is ethical to charge money for any ceremony or teaching. Any who charge you even a penny are NOT authentic.

Native traditionalists believe the ONLY acceptable way to transmit traditional teachings is orally and face-to-face. Any allegedly traditional teachings in books or on websites are NOT authentic.

Learning medicine ways takes decades and must be done with great caution and patience out of respect for the sacred. Any offer to teach you all you need to know in a weekend seminar or two is wishful thinking at best, fraud at worst.

Reading the Liturgy

I wanted to give everyone a heads up that I will be the Liturgist this Sunday at UUCA. It's my first official act at Lay Minister in training. I will also be helping light the Hanukkah candles. My work schedule is very full right now, so it's nice to have to make some time for something non work.

Speaking of... time to go back to work. Come to UUCA this Sunday!!!

Pictures from the Proposal Night

She said YES!

Yesterday, I got done with work around 4. I got impatient with hailing a cab, so I walked back to my hotel, 11 blocks downtown, 3.5 block crosstown. It took me 20 minutes. I got to the room and quickly changed into jeans and sweater. I moved the ring box that had been in my computer bag since Saturday to my jacket pocket while Leah was in the bathroom.

The plan was simple. I took her Rockefeller Plaza, 25 blocks uptown. I had to remove my scarf and gloves because we were walking so fast. Yesterday was the warmest day here all week, with a high of 44. Unfortunately, it was also the windiest. We walked up 6th street (The Avenue of the Americas). I made a bee line to the skating rink once we found Rockefeller Plaza. It was busy and crowded, but not impossible. It took us around 15 minutes to get through the line, buy tickets, get our skates and get on the ice.

I had been planning this moment since I found out that I was going to New York. The original plan was for Savannah, a planned vacation at the end of the month. When I found out that IBM was sending me to New York, I though that would be so much better than Savannah. The problem is that I had to move plans up a month. The previous two weeks has been crazy. I had to talk to both set of parents, get the ring moved up, and talk with Audrey. I got everything done, except the ring that I wanted. No time to make the ring I wanted. I got the diamond I wanted and the jeweler put it a tiffany setting. I can bring it back next week for them to make the correct setting.

I had never been to Rockefeller Plaza before, only seen pictures. It was gorgeous. The rink was not very crowded at all. We started skating around and I started getting super nervous. We circle once, twice, and then a third time. I couldn't find the right words to start. Leah joked, saying, "Are you purposely skating away from the edge so I will fall down?" I thought to myself, "Yes and No", but just laughed it off. I unzipped my jacket and the zippered inside pocked that held the ring.

Finally I pulled her to the middle of the ice. I told her that I wanted to be there for her for the rest of our lives. That I would love her and protect her forever. She seem to note the difference in my tone. I got down on one knee. I continued to talk, but I couldn't tell you exactly what I said. The rink started spinning as my nervousness manifested itself into dizziness. Dizziness + Tearing up + Ice + trying to put my love into words + being on one knee was hard, but thankfully I didn't fall down.

At this point I tried to remove the ring from my jacket. I didn't unzip enough, and my nervousness made it challenging to remove the box. It finally popped out. I opened it and asked her to marry me. Unfortunately, I opened the box upside down. She gracefully turned it for me and said yes. At this point I was reminded that we had an audience of a few hundred people. They cheered. Leah removed her glove and I put the ring on her finger. We hugged and held each other for a few minutes.

We started to skate again. I couldn't feel my legs, since all the blood had rushed to my head. I tried very hard to make the moment perfect. I had also tried very hard to make it a surprise. Leah told me that I was successful on both counts. You can read her blog entry about last night here. We might have video available. With the flood of "Congratulations" from everyone, a pair of women filmed the whole thing. I gave her my email address. Hopefully that will work out.

We continued the night with the Saks Fifths Avenue window displays, a scroll down Fifth Avenue, dinner at Artisanal Fromagerie and Bistro, and a climb up the Empire State Building. The winds were brutal up top, but it made for a wonderful memory. Someone recognized us from the skating rink for one more "Congratulations".

Leah has brought me such happiness, I wanted to make her feel as special as I am happy. We made a night full of wonderful memories. And now I am engaged.

Blog Reading Level

Meditation 2.0

Reevaluating Wednesday Night Vespers

For those readers who do not got to UUCA, we have a Vesper service after our Wonderful Wednesday night dinners, but before Adult RE (religious education). It's a nice time to hear a Lay Minister give a sermon and have time for introspection. It has some challenges, though. First and foremost being the dinner and the time it takes to feed everyone. Dinner officially starts at 6:15 and Vespers is at 7 pm. Not a lot of time for a family to get everyone fed, then into the childcare room. Plus you miss out on the social aspect of dinner, the after-dinner conversation.

So tonight was the first meeting to discuss Vespers. We started by trying to build a time line of the Vespers' history. From the attendees at the meeting, we surmised that the Vespers service started about 12 years ago, around the birth of the lay minister program. However, dinner and Adult RE was there way before that. So we made an assumption that the Vespers program may have been started to support the lay ministry program. We had no way confirming it, but it made sense.

Then we went into listing the strengths and weaknesses that Vespers had for Lay Ministers, the Congregation, and new visitors. After that we tried to lay out what we saw as a "Success Vision" for Vespers.

It was a very energizing meeting. Most of the meetings I have had so far as a Lay Minister in-training has put me into introvert mode, where I was doing a lot more listening than speaking. I broke that streak tonight. I think it was because of something that I feel strongly about, it's something that I feel I have a lot of input on, and I am getting more comfortable with my peers.

We took a lot of notes, and had a lot of good ideas. We had a few disagreements, but nothing too heated. We will meet again soon, but we were charged with getting the feedback of other congregation members. So, if you do go to UUCA, what feedback do you have on Vespers?

1. Have you ever attended? If not, why? If yes, how often?
2. What are some good things that you got from the service?
3. Do you see any room for improvement?
4. If there was another night where something like vespers was done would you come? What would you like to see?

Motivation for Lay Ministry

Today I attended another lay ministers class. During class we were asked to give a short (2-3 minute) presentation on what motivates us, "Why We Answer the Call". I decided to dive deep and speak about my sister, Elizabeth Ashe. I always jump at the opportunity to do so. It bring me joy to remember her and share her with others.

However, in hindsight I wished I would have broached the subject from a different angle. After I was done, the leader of the lay minister's program made the offhand comment, jokingly, that "You know, some minister's have just one sermon, and they do it well." I laughed it off, but afterwards felt like I might jump on the "hey I have a dead sister" bandwagon too often.

I was also disappointed in my delivery. I practiced ahead of time to do it slow and not get choked up, but I went too fast and ended up with a shaky voice.

And I was turning inward and reanalyzing my performance, it dawned on me how selfish I was being. As others were sharing I kept reflecting and comparing to me. I immediately stopped and focused on my friends' words. It was refreshing to hear their backgrounds and their motivations. It was a good class.

Here is the little speech I gave tonight. Enjoy

Motivation

Length of days is not what makes age honorable, nor number of years the true measure of life. Understanding and an untarnished life, this is ripe old age. Coming to perfection in so short a while, she achieved long life

Wisdom 4:8-9,13

We have times in our lives that test us, that transforms us. One of those times for me was the three final years of my little sister’s life. Elizabeth Ashe battled with a rare malformation that took away her ability to walk at age 17 and her life at age 19. One of her creeds was, “We are not measured by our good time, but our bad.” If that is true, she lived 100 life times.

Elizabeth started early. In the second grade, at the same time as the 1988 elections, she first convinced her teacher to hold mock elections, and then went on to win those elections. By then she had decided that she was going to be the first woman president. But she understood well what was the true purpose of leadership, and that is to help improve the world. During her seventh grade year, she joined me in the local Red Cross Youth Council. Not only did she eventually take over the leadership of this council, but she won the Red Cross Youth Volunteer Award for two years in a row, one of those years being after the discovery of her illness, and a Red Cross Outstanding Group award. Red Cross wasn’t her only avenue of giving. She went one day with me to a community center called the Insider’s Teen Center, a place for teenagers in forest Park to hang out and be in safe and positive environment. She soon started talking one on one to the kids there. Not only making friends, but changing lives. She would reach out and touch the hearts of the most troubled children. Elizabeth adored the Teen Center and the help it provided to so many teenagers.

If you had the chance to ask the President of the United States one thing, what would it be? When the Starlight Foundation gave Elizabeth that chance in 1997, she told Mr. Clinton the value and importance of place like the Insider’s Teen Center. She handed him a large prepared report and gave him a 20-minute lobby.

See, the thing is, she was in a wheelchair, and depended on someone else for everything. But that didn’t stop her from pitching to the leader of the free world.

The last year of her life, she scheduled a peace rally for the city of Jonesboro. She was able to get hundreds to attend, attracting attention from former President Jimmy Carter. He called her, while in the hospital, and invited her to come and visit him. She didn’t live long enough to make that meeting.

While Elizabeth was changing the world from the top down, she was also reaching out to dozens of teens via the internet. She created a Teen Help web site where she helped other with teen pregnancy, runaways, drugs, alcohol, depression, suicide, abuse, eating disorders, and of course – serious illness. She would have me bring a laptop to her hospital room during her numerous long term visits.

You see, I’ve got a lot to live up to. I will never have touched as many lives that Elizabeth. She lives on inside me and hundreds other.

She has reached long life.

This is my motivation.

ps. Interesting footnote. The bible quote at the beginning is etched in Elizabeth's tombstone.

Get quoted in the Atlanta Newspaper

Here's an opportunity for Unitarians to be quoted in the public press.

Don O'Briant (cdobriant@comcast.net) is doing two religion stories for the AJC and needs some comments.

First story: Do you have a traditional way of saying grace for Thanksgiving dinner? A traditional blessing? What is it? Who says it? The same person or different people every year? And does everyone have a different blessing?

Second story: Whether you believe in God or not, most people would agree that there's a good bit of wisdom, common sense and poetry to be found in the Bible. Who hasn't whispered the 23rd psalm (yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil) when facing a crisis; recalled the promise of the 30th psalm (tears may linger through the night, but joy comes in the morning) when grieving; or been drawn to the book of Ecclesiastes (there is absolutely nothing new under the sun) when depressed. What bits of wisdom from the Bible have helped you in
your everyday life?

Contact him at cdobriant@comcast.net if you want to comment.

Rabbi Michael Lerner to appear at UUCA Sunday evening November 18

Rabbi Michael Lerner, founding editor of Tikkun magazine and a founder of the Network of Spiritual Progressives, is appearing at the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Atlanta Sunday evening November 18 from 7-9 p.m. He will be speaking about the role of spiritual progressives in the upcoming 2008 elections. He will be giving a talk and leading a discussion on "How to End the War in Iraq, Win the War on Terror, and Bring Sanity to American Politics." Included will be a presentation of some of the work of the Network of Spiritual Progressives, a new interfaith organization that seeks to challenge the ethos of selfishness and materialism that shapes our perception of what is realistic in American society. He will also be available to sign copies of his book The Left Hand of God:Taking Back Our Country from the Religious Right, now in paperback.

For directions to UUCA, go to our website at www.uuca.org. We are located at 19ll Cliff Valley Way NE Atlanta 30329, off 1-85 on the access road between North Druid Hills and Clairmont. Phone 404-634-5134.

Those crazy Norwegian Athiests

Click the image for the rest...

Wow... after reading more of Russel's Teapot, I'm enjoying the heck out of it. I've found me a new webcomic to read. Woot.

Evil Fozen Pizzas Recalled

From CNN: General Mills on Thursday recalled about 5 million frozen pizzas sold nationwide under the Totino's and Jeno's labels because of possible E. coli contamination.

The company asks consumers to throw away recalled pizzas. They can get replacements by clipping the bar code from the box and mailing it with their name and address to Totino's/Jeno's, P.O. Box 200 -- Pizza, Minneapolis, MN 55440-0200.

CHECK YOUR FREEZER
The recall involves the following frozen pizzas and product code numbers:

• Totino's Party Supreme, 42800-10700
• Totino's Three Meat, 42800-10800
• Totino's Pepperoni, 42800-11400
• Totino's Pepperoni, 42800-92114
• Totino's Classic Pepperoni, 42800-11402
• Totino's Pepperoni Trio, 42800-72157
• Totino's Party Combo, 42800-11600
• Totino's Combo, 42800-92116
• Jeno's Crisp 'n Tasty Supreme, 35300-00561
• Jeno's Crisp 'n Tasty Pepperoni, 35300-00572
• Jeno's Crisp 'n Tasty Combo, 35300-00576

Hebrew Crunk

A bit late, but funny nonetheless.

Monkey sheds tears at girl's death

In a rare incident, a monkey was seen shedding tears while mourning the death of a minor girl at Ghookma area near here.

According to eyewitnesses, the primate was first noticed when the family members of nine-year-old Aarti, who died of illness, were bringing her body from the hospital.

The monkey, who accompanied them to the house of the deceased, sat beside her corpse and started shedding tears.

It also went to the cremation ground, the eyewitnesses said, adding even after the cremation was over and all others had returned, the animal stayed there.

From The Hindu News Update Service.

Some Christian pastors embrace Scientology

Some Christian congregations, particularly in lower income, urban areas, are turning to an unlikely source for help -- the Church of Scientology.

Scientologists do not worship God, much less Jesus Christ. The church has seen plenty of controversy and critics consider it a cult. So why are observant Christians embracing some of its teachings?

Two pastors who spoke recently with CNN explained that when it comes to religion, they still preach the core beliefs of Christianity. But when it comes to practicing what they preach in a modern world, borrowing from Scientology helps.
...
They say they are not scared off by programs with ties to a church that critics say has aggressive recruiting, secretive ways and rigid theology. As men of God rooted in Christian values, they do not see Scientology as a threat to their faith, but rather as a tool to augment it.

Ummmm... Can I get a big WTF??? I am flabbergasted. Read the full article on CNN for all the juicy bits. It goes on to add "Now Kennedy uses "The Way to Happiness" as a how-to supplement to his sermons. He believes it is easier to understand and clearer to follow than ancient Scriptures taken from the Bible." L. Ron Hubbard is easier to read than the bible? Yes. Reason to use it to pervert the minds of your congregation? NO!

I'm too tired to rip this idea up any more. It hurts my brain just thinking about it. If you would like, take a look at a good Scientology video I posted a while back.

Lay Ministry Training

The kickoff to my Lay Minister training was at a retreat a few weeks ago. I've been meaning to blog about it, but been practicing the art of procrastination instead. Tonight there was a worship planning meeting and I'm all fired up again. So let me rewind and tell you about the retreat.

The retreat was planned for a Saturday that a friend was getting married. I managed to do both by only attending half the day at the retreat. I still got a lot out of it. We started the day with introductions. There were current Lay Ministers in attendance and they reflected on the genesis of the lay ministry, some good stories, and talked about what Lay Ministry meant to them.

There are two main aspects of the program: Worship and Pastoral Care. You can pick one or go for both. I am going for both. The rest of the morning, some framework was laid to establish what the two programs entailed.

Pastoral Care is interesting because of the fairly strict boundaries that differentiate it from therapy, psychology, and other ways to get help. We play a specific role that, if we're not careful, could spiral into a inappropriate situation. That being said, it is a very important role. The other interesting thing that was mentioned was about confidentiality. As Lay Ministers, we can promise confidentiality except when it come to communicating with the professional ministers. We have to able to communicate with our "bosses".

I initially did not intend to do both worship and patrol care, but after reading a good bit more about UU and reflecting on my own past, I think I have a lot to give when it comes to pastoral care. And I am sure I will learn a lot more about myself in the process.

Being part of the Worship service is very exciting to me. The last part of the retreat that I could attend was Rev. Anthony David telling us a bit how we plan the "Spiritual Theater". He has several core values that helps us make decisions about the service. We went into more of this tonight.

Tonight started with us discussing and agreeing on a covenant for the group. This allows us to understand what we are doing as a group and what we hope to achieve. The next discussion was around the values that we will focus on: Flow, Impact, Diversity-in-Unity, Good Stewardship, Hospitality, Reverence, and Growth Orientation. All aspects of worship will be evaluated on these value to ensure that we are giving the best worship service possible.

The last part of the meeting was focused on the planning of the upcoming Sundays. It is amazing to how much goes into each service.

All in all... I am very excited. This is very inline with my desires and goals and look forward to the experience of a Lay Minister.

Beware: The Golden Compass will destroy Christianity!

The Golden Compass, a fantasy film starring Nicole Kidman that is scheduled to be released into theaters on 7 December 2007, has been drawing fire from concerned Christians. The film is based on Northern Lights, the first offering in Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy of children's books, a series that follows the adventures of a streetwise girl who travels through multiple worlds populated by witches, armor-plated bears, and sinister ecclesiastical assassins to defeat the oppressive forces of a senile God.

The series' author, Phillip Pullman, is an avowed atheist who has averred that "I don't profess any religion; I don't think it's possible that there is a God; I have the greatest difficulty in understanding what is meant by the words 'spiritual' or 'spirituality.'" Critics of Pullman's books point to the strong anti-religion and anti-God themes they incorporate, and although literary works are subject to a variety of interpretations, Pullman left little doubt about his intentions when he said in a 2003 interview that "My books are about killing God." (Conservative British columnist Peter Hitchens labeled Pullman "The Most Dangerous Author in Britain" and described him as the writer "the atheists would have been praying for, if atheists prayed.")

The Catholic League has posted a response:

A film called "The Golden Compass" opens December 7. It is based on the first book of a trilogy titled His Dark Materials. The author of this children's fantasy is Philip Pullman, a noted English atheist. It is his objective to bash Christianity and promote atheism. To kids. "The Golden Compass" is a film version of the book by that name, and it is being toned down so that Catholics, as well as Protestants, are not enraged.

The second book of the trilogy, The Subtle Knife, is more overt in its hatred of Christianity than the first book, and the third entry, The Amber Spyglass, is even more blatant. Because "The Golden Compass" is based on the least offensive of the three books, and because it is being further watered down for the big screen, some might wonder why parents should be wary of the film.

The Catholic League wants Christians to stay away from this movie precisely because it knows that the film is bait for the books: unsuspecting parents who take their children to see the movie may be impelled to buy the three books as a Christmas present. And no parent who wants to bring their children up in the faith will want any part of these books.

"The Golden Compass: Agenda Unmasked" is the Catholic League's response. It provides information about the film, "The Golden Compass," and details what book reviewers have said about Pullman's books; a synopsis of his trilogy is also included.

Liveblogging the Dalai Lama

I am current sitting in Centennial Olympic Park waiting to see and hear the words of his Holiness, the Dalai Lama. I have decided to live blog this event so I will update this post as the day goes on. Blogging via my Blackberry is a bit challenging, so excuse any typos.

The weather is very gloomy. Weather.com said that there was 80% chance of rain all afternoon. So I brought mt "Neat Sheet" and a poncho. So far' no rain.

I got here about one o'clock and the gates had just opened. I got a good spot about 50 feet away from the stage. They had Tibetan chanting playing over the loudspeakers. I took the opportunity for a nap.

They showed a short video before starting that outlined the developing connection between Emory University and a Tibetan exile community. I am horrible about remember details, so bear with me.

The first speaker introduced the first musical group, two Tibetan refugees, and three local artists. They played three songs. The first and last was sung their native tongue.

When the second musical ensemble was introduced, I decided to start live blogging this event. The second group was a local jazz trio. Again, sorry for not getting the details... I'll add them later.
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Okay the jazz band just finished and there is now a group from the aforementioned Tibetan community. They are two dancers in traditional garb and two horn players. And these are some big ol' horns.

The dancers have now exited and eight monks fill the stage. The middle monk is chanting in such a low pitch, it's surreal. Now all eight are chanting. The whole city seems focused on the powerful sounds coming from these eight monks. You can feel the crowd's energy slowly becoming in tune. Most people are sitting cross-legged and many have their eyes closed.

Very surreal indeed.
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The chanting has ended and the "filing in of important people" just began. The Dalai Lama has just walked on stage. The crowd rises and claps and cheers. The Dalai Lama laughingly asks us to sits down.

The Dean of Emory is speaking now about the great work that Emory and Tibet has done. They are bringing together science and religion to forward our understanding of the world and ourselves.
-------
There is a small parade of other "important people", including congressman John Lewis, to speak next. They speak of Atlanta's racial harmony, the Olympic bombing, the award that Dalai Lama got in Washington, and other things.

John Lewis got a standing ovation. I think it's because everyone wanted to stretch their legs. The Dean is now giving the introduction for the Dalai Lama, counting his many, many accomplishments. He will be talking next.
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The Dalai Lama starts his speech in English and comments on the weather. Since one o'clock it has not rained a drop. He moves into his native tongue to finish his welcome (with the aid of an interpreter).

He starts to speak of love and happiness being key to humanity's growth. He laughs about his honorary professorship and says he is too lazy to send home homework. But he he is dedicated to teaching until the day he dies.

"We are the same, you and I. Same breath, same blood, same thoughts. One big community"
-------
The Dalai Lama goes on to talk about how we should identify our destructive emotions from the constructive. We then can nurture our positive emotions. They can then gain strength and overcome the destructive emotions.

"The seed of compassion comes from our birth, our mother. Just like some other animals, we depend on other's care."

He describes some animals that leave their children to fend for themselves. They do not have the capacity for compassion. But humans are entirely dependent on other's care. We have the capacity for compassion because we come from our mothers or someone else who acted as the mother.

"A peaceful world comes from inner peace, not from the governments."
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His message forms into the importance for us to teach compassion and love to our children. We can not show too much love to our children and our fellow man.

He makes a good UU statement about religion - that all religions teach love and compassion, just in different ways. But even those that don't have religious faith can be taught love, compassion, and forgiveness.

Inner-confidence is needed to spread compassion and love. Be sure that your love is the right thing.

Inner-peace, world peace can be achieved. First we must do inner disarmament. War its self is very outdated. To destroy your enemy is ancient thinking. We must accept the world community and achieve world peace.
-------
He says that America is the leader of democracy, rule of law, freedom. We should spread this to the world. We should stop sending troops to do this, but more peach cores.

This got a lot of applause. He ends his speech and then answers questions that was submitted via a web site.

"I am a 13 year old boy and a methodists. My friend claim I am killing my relationship to god by studying your teaching. What should I do"

I teach love, compassion, and forgiveness... That sounds very Christian to me. Buddhism and Christianity has many of the same teachings. Including Islam - a friend said that no Islam should not spill blood, else he not true Islam. He we have many of the same teachings' but different philosophies. But we all have the same goal... To create a good humanity. The different philosophies are for different audiences, but have the same goals.
------
He talks about several moments were he was moved in Christian places. "Jesus Christ, this master has brought love and compassion to so many over many centuries. He moves me".

He then preaches about pluralism with some examples from India. But then loses his train of thought. "Sorry, I forgot!"

The next question is about this opinion about the Olympics going to China. He thinks that this is a good thing. We should not isolate this big nation, but invite them into the world.

The next question is about breaking down barriers between east of west. He says that the inner world - thought, emotion - there is still a big gap. He has opened dialog with modern scientists to exchange ideas and accelerate learning.

One final round of applause. I did not reach enlightenment yet, but it was wonderful seeing and hearing such a wise man speak.

Scary Christian Theater

She really scares me. I feel for those poor kids.

Searching for God in the Brain

Researchers are unearthing the roots of religious feeling in the neural commotion that accompanies the spiritual epiphanies of nuns, Buddhists and other people of faith

By David Biello

The doughnut-shaped machine swallows the nun, who is outfitted in a plain T-shirt and loose hospital pants rather than her usual brown habit and long veil. She wears earplugs and rests her head on foam cushions to dampen the device’s roar, as loud as a jet engine. Supercooled giant magnets generate intense fields around the nun’s head in a high-tech attempt to read her mind as she communes with her deity.

Read the full article on Scientific American. They are using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI). What do you think? Are we going to get to a place like in star trek, where they mapped the brain's activities and knew how things like religion and faith work? Science will continue to surge forward and tools like fMRI are astounding and archaic at the same time. While we are gaining new insights into how the brain functions, I still think we are centuries aways from truly understanding our brain.

And our cynical world will take even longer to accept it as truth, if ever. Do you think that religion would die is we proved that god(s) are just a chemical reaction?

Wonderful Wednesdays

Yay, Wonderful Wednesdays are back at UUCA. Well, they've been back for a while, but this Wednesday was the first chance I got to go. For those of you not a member of UUCA, Wonderful Wednesdays is dinner night at the church. Most of the non-weekend events are scheduled on Wednesday like Choir practice.

Wonderful Wednesdays is one of Audrey's favorite things to do at UUCA. I think it's mine, too, besides the 20s/30s events. I like it because of Vespers and the Adult RE classes. It always makes me think about things that I usually don't get to explore.

This week I attended "Unconditional Parenting" a 2 part session inspired by the writings and lectures by Alfie Kohn. We watched the first half of the DVD with the same name. Man, oh man do I feel like the worst parent in the world after that! His argument is that all forms of punishment and reward is proven unequivocally to do great harm to the child. Yup, from spanking, to time out, to telling her good job for cleaning her room is adding days of therapy to Audrey's future.

We only watched the first half, in which he his convincing us why we need to do the things he explains in the second half of the DVD. Which I won't see for another 7 days. So what the heck am I to do in the meantime? I know: I'll Audrey know that I will be taking a week off from parenting... that she's on her her own until I finish the DVD. That should work.

Sigh... I get positive feedback all the time for parenting Audrey. Audrey is smart, outgoing, well behaved, and carries herself with accelerated maturity. Somehow people attribute credit to my parenting and give me pat on the back. The only thing that I take credit for myself is her being well behaved. And that is exactly what this Alfie Kohn attacked ruthlessly. His words were like daggers for a doubting, young, single parent.

I hope to find light at the end of this tunnel. Audrey's bright, advanced mind can only be undone by my bad parenting. I hope it's not too late (or Alfie Kohn is just dead wrong).

The Onion is in an Open Relationship With The Lord

Lovely article from the Onion:

...

Now that I'm in an open relationship with the Lord, I feel a greater spiritual satisfaction than I've ever known.

It all started when I was 16 and first asked Jesus to enter my heart. It was incredible. He filled me up with His love. I'd never been redeemed before, but with Jesus it felt so right, as if the sins of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. For a while there, we were communing via the sacraments several times a week! And every night we spent what seemed like hours in long, mutually satisfying sessions of prayer. I worshipped Him.

Soon the honeymoon period ended, however. Whenever I spoke to Him, He seemed distracted and distant—sometimes I wondered if He was listening at all. Daily devotionals felt like we were just going through the motions of repetitive, meaningless dogma. A few months later, I made a potentially disastrous discovery: I found out I wasn't the only one He was sanctifying.

...

Read the full article. Found it on the Pirates of the Unitarians. My favorite quote, " I should take no God before Him—but he never mentioned anything about taking one after Him!"

Is God Keeping You From Going to Church?

'God' responds to legislator's lawsuit

Here's some background info. Then this was found on CNN:

A legislator who filed a lawsuit against God has gotten something he might not have expected: a response.

One of two court filings from "God" came Wednesday under otherworldly circumstances, according to John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha.

"This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here -- poof!" Friend said.

State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha sued God last week, seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty for making terroristic threats, inspiring fear and causing "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

Chambers, a self-proclaimed agnostic who often criticizes Christians, said his filing was triggered by a federal lawsuit he considers frivolous. He said he's trying to make the point that anybody can sue anybody.

Not so, says "God." His response argues that the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction.

It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point.

"I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," according to the response, as read by Friend.

There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said.

A second response from "God" disputing Chambers' allegations lists a phone number for a Corpus Christi law office. A message left for that office was not immediately returned Thursday.

Attempts to reach Chambers by phone and at his Capitol office Thursday were unsuccessful.

It's Atheist movie time!

First, here a humorous response (well, I find it humorous.... I bet that kid didn't) to a kid telling his mother that he's an Atheist.

glumbert - Don't tell Mom you're an atheist

Next we have an ironic take on why Atheists are wrong.

glumbert - The Atheist Delusion

Finally, a long-ish cynical look at why one particular Atheist cares about religion.

glumbert - Why an atheist cares about religion

There's hope for me yet!

Who let the Dogs out?

It was Bring-Your-Animal-To-Church Day at UUCA yesterday. Go here for a flickr set of pictures from the event. It was also the first sermon from our new Minister, Anthony David. Good fun!

Special Moments

During the service at UUCA today, there was a wonderful soloist playing a song about love. I left my order of service at UUCA, so I don't have her name, but she was very good. I was holding Audrey in my arms and I was gently rocking her to the music. She sat up at bit and whispered in my ear, "Daddy, I want to give all my love to you."

Every day with her is like the best father's day in the world.

Momentum is Building

Rev. Anthony David officially started this Monday, August 13th. His first Sunday sermon isn't until September, but he gave an extended vespers service last night after a potluck dinner at UUCA. His sermon was energizing to the extend of being excited about the possibilities. However, his tendency to draw thing out a bit seem to undo some of the excitement he built. He is doing a great job laying the foundation of positive change, by making people excited about change while softening the impact a bit. He spoke of patience while also extolling the virtues of doing something new.

I write this out becuase I am impressed with him as a leader. I am constantly taking leadership roles, and he will be a positive role model. I can't wait to start the lay ministry program and learn from him more directly.

Scientology, just Yuck!

I got surfing around on Xenu.tv laughing at the silly Scientologists and found this great excerpt from Boston Legal. I love that show, and episode has some wonderful zingers. "Your Honor she’s making fun of Christianity. It’s unpatriotic. I’m afraid that it will hurt the troops." Good laugh out loud fun.

Scientology: Boston Legal
Uploaded by XENUTV

More Off Topic Fun!

As I posted before, I am part of Digitribe Productions. It is a local production company that does film, music, art, and gaming. It's the creative side of a bunch of geeks, including me. Well, we just completed another skit, a comedy this time, and posted it up on YouTube. Let me know what you think!

Back to Church

It's been a while since going to UUCA. I took a few weeks to do some traveling with my daughter and then went to Paris when she went to her see her mother. It felt good to be back. I've never been a church going person, so it's not the ritual of going to church I missed. I just felt grounded and comforted. Rev. Marti Keller delivered a fine sermon that reminded me that I really like this place.

Tomorrow, Audrey starts her first day at Pre-K. It's a big day for her, and for me. It's at a elementary school, so it's really her first day of school. I got her a fashion purse that she will use as a book bag. She loves it. I'm excited for her, but more excited to get her life back to normal. Summertime is full of large visitations with her mother, and being back home full time will help her tremendously. I am debating which after school program to do: dance, piano, voice (singing), Spanish, art... there's tons out there. Just have to pick one. Maybe two.

Well, that's about it. I feel like real life begins again tomorrow and going back to UUCA was a good start to getting back into the groove of things.

Life of Pi

I just finished with The Life of Pi, a novel by Yann Martel. I highly recommend this novel to all UU's and others that take the time to read a blog about my spirituality. In fact, the first I heard of this novel was from Wednesday night vespers at UUCA.

The main character, Piscine Molitor Patel or Pi for short, was raised Hindu, decides to become a Christian and a Muslim. "I just want to love God," says the teenager who gathers joys from the various perspectives of spirituality. His family runs a Zoo in India, but decides to move to Canada. The boat sinks and he has to survive for 227 days on a rescue boat with a zebra, a 450-pound Bengali tiger by the name of Richard Parker, a hyena, orangutan, various insects and other pestilence. After a a few days, only Pi and Richard parker remain.

The allegories abound as Pi spends several hundred days at sea. Richard Parker represents the animal in all of us, and Pi must come to terms with this new relationship. The issue of reality and faith are also covered very well.

“I can well imagine an atheist’s last words: ‘White, white! L-L-Love! My God!’–and the deathbed leap of faith. Whereas the agnostics, if he stays true to his reasonable self, if he stays beholden to dry yeastless factuality, might try to explain the warm light bathing him by saying, ‘Possibly a f-f-failing oxygenation of the b-b-brain,’ and, to the very end, lack the imagination and miss the better story."

More events happen along those themes, but I'll try not to ruin the story, since it's such a fun read. Also math geeks might see the significance of Pi being at sea for 227 days. For everyone else, pi = 22/7.

Overall, it was a great story that I am sure any UU will enjoy. Read it before the movie comes out.

Announcing - The DRAGON CONspiracy

Disclosure: I am part of Digitribe Productions. This is a bit off topic, but will prove to be good fun. Click here for the original announcement.

Greetings Citizen!

I'm pleased to announce that DigiTribe Productions will be producing a Live-Action version of the popular Paranoia RPG at Dragon*Con 2007 in Atlanta, GA the weekend of August 31-September 3. Digitribe Productions has brought you many fun games in the past including Night's Children and R.E.L.I.C., and also brought you Geekin'.

The game will run continuously from Friday night until Sunday evening with primary plot hours occurring Friday 1900-2100, Saturday 1300-1800, and Sunday 1300-1800. The Primary storyline will advance during these three session windows, however players are encouraged to continue game play throughout the day and night if they so wish.

The LARP system being used has been specially developed for this type of convention game and has been streamlined for ease of play, speedy resolutions, and quick learning curves.

Registration for the game is $19.84 - and includes six lives (clones) of your assigned character. To pre-register please visit http://www.digitribe.net/paranoia. The game is written for a maximum of 200 players, so act now and get your name on The Computer's roll sheet.

The official game description is as follows:

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

ATTENTION SELECTED CITIZENS

As you may be aware, for the last <CLASSIFIED/indigo> years, certain citizens have been selected for a relaxation experiment. This year, you have been selected for this honor. The computer requests that you report to the CON sector. Attendance is mandatory. Failure to attend is treason.

You are ordered to take two days of holiday. You will be taken off of Visomorpain for the duration. You will be given an extra dose of Xanitrick. All citizens WILL enjoy themselves. Computer-approved jumpsuits are not mandatory for this period. Citizens are encouraged to dress in festive costumes based on Computer-approved video dramas. Citizens MUST avoid work during this relaxation period. Citizens MUST accomplish all mandated tasks as normal. Happiness is mandatory.

<CLASSIFIED/red>
This "holiday" is essential to long-term evaluation of infrared response to adjustments in medical dosages and work schedule. CON sector will be sealed until infrared citizens return to normal parameters, so their “colorful antics” do not disturb other citizens. It is essential that you help collect data on infrared behavior during this period without interfering in their behavior.

This experiment may result in increased treasonous activity. You are required to report to the CON sector main Computer terminal for troubleshooting assignments. Troubleshooters will receive work assignments to uncover seditious activity. Failure to report will be regarded as treason. Refusal to work will be regarded as treason. Clearance Red and above citizens are not exempt from the prohibition against working during the experiment.

Due to a treasonous, communist attack on a local plant, Multicorder devices will not be available for requisition on the festival weekend. Since Multicorder records are very helpful in establishing treason beyond a shadow of a doubt, all troubleshooters are encouraged to bring personal Multicorder devices for use in missions during the experiment. Fines for possession of a Multicorder of unauthorized clearance will be waived for the duration of the experiment. Troubleshooters bringing personal Multicorders will be Commended. It is treasonous to use a Multicorder of a level beyond your clearance.

Drinking Liberally

Being a single dad, I can't really dedicate a weeknight to drinking, but maybe I'll call up the parents to babysit every now and then. Regardless, I definitely wanted to share.

What is Drinking Liberally?

An informal, inclusive progressive social group. Raise your spirits while you raise your glass, and share ideas while you share a pitcher. Drinking Liberally gives like-minded, left-leaning individuals a place to talk politics. You don't need to be a policy expert and this isn't a book club - just come and learn from peers, trade jokes, vent frustration and hang out in an environment where it's not taboo to talk politics.

Bars are democratic spaces - you talk to strangers, you share booths, you feel the bond of common ground. Bring democratic discourse to your local democratic space - build democracy one drink at a time.

While drinking liberally, always remember to drink responsibly, and make liberal use of designated drivers. Drinking and driving is reckless and irresponsible, like a neocon war or corporatist tax cut. Liberals, don't do it.

Atlanta, Georgia

• Every Thursday, 8:00 pm onward
• Thinking Man's Tavern, 537 W Howard Ave, Decatur (map)
• Hosted by atlanta (at) drinkingliberally.org
• Join the Atlanta mailing list
• Discuss in the Atlanta forum

Open Letter to Dr. Laura

Snopes could not confirm the authenticity or the origin of the letter, but it's still great fun. It's interesting how religions pick and choose from their holy books to decide which ones to adhere to strictly and which are now archaic.

---

On her radio show recently, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law.

I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. ... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Law and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. The passage clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,

unknown

UUCA is hiring

UUCA is seeking an individual to fill the Office Administrator position. Hours for this position are Monday from Friday 9:00 am. – 5:00 pm and the salary is $25,500 per year with benefits. (The job description for this position is below.)

To apply for the position email: swiseman@uuca.org or mail to: UUCA, 1911 Cliff Valley Way NE, Atlanta, GA 30329.

OFFICE ADMINISTRATOR

About UUCA: UUCA is a 53-year-old progressive faith community with 800+ members and pledging friends, a large religious education program and an active calendar of children/youth/adult activities, including community forums and spiritual growth groups and classes. (Go to uuca.org for more information.)

Mission: To ensure UUCA's front office projects a welcoming environment and operates efficiently and in accordance with established policies and procedures.

Position Description: Under the supervision of the Business Manager, the Office Administrator performs assigned duties in the areas of office management, clerical support, and volunteer support.

Responsibilities:

Office Management:

• Open and close the office, set up equipment, make coffee
• Manage outer office calls and traffic
• Create atmosphere of hospitality and service
• Sort incoming mail
• Direct incoming requests to appropriate recipient, perform triage
• Order office supplies
• Manage service on office equipment
• Assist patrons of art gallery with purchases
• Enter and update information into the database.
• Enters building use requests

Clerical Support

• Assist the Business Manager and performs assigned tasks
• Compile, print and collate the weekly Order of Service and weekly inserts
• Create forms, layouts for brochures, booklets
• Generate labels, creates reports, handle copying/printing
• Maintain accounts payable, investigate and clear discrepancies and process checks
• Manage mailing operations
• Post schedules in foyer and at all meeting rooms

Volunteer/Staff Support

• Assist other ministry teams with clerical support as assigned by the Business Manager
• Keep lists, take reservations, convey messages, make invitations, generate mailings, create reports, disseminate information, and perform other similar office functions

Life goes on...

The roller coaster is over. Yup, seems like someone else got on the ride before I could get my head straight. Man, what a crazy week. I did manage to learn a few things. You can have everything that you want in a mate. There is no need to settle. The walls to my heart seem strong, but are not. Exposing all of my skeletons early-on probably saved me heartache later. There are smart girls out there that are also very pretty. There are girls out there that are my equivalent, someone who can stand beside me, not in front or behind me (wait.... did I just slip into country music?)

Sigh. I must not get too sappy. I've been toughening myself up for the last few days because of the inevitable. I am still happy I met this girl. Maybe I can win the lottery twice.

Until then I'll switch this blog back to spiritual matters. (I know... love and the pursuit of such can be very spiritual, but I need to focus on something else for a while.)

Cindy Sheehan comes to UUCA

From Atlanta WAND:

There will be a reception in the lobby of 7 Stages Theatre from 6:00 pm - 7:00 pm. Cindy will also make a short presentation before the introduction of the play "Marx in Soho." Note: Those wishing to meet and hear Cindy Sheehan, should purchase a ticket to "Marx in Soho," which will also support the fundraising effort for the Georgia Peace and Justice Coalition. If purchasing your tickets online and by phone, please make sure to mention "georgia peace," so the proceeds get credited to the coalition. 7 Stages is located in Little Five Points on Euclid Ave www.7stages.org or 404-523-7647.

The following morning, Sunday, July 15th, Cindy and her caravan members will be at the Unitarian-Universalist Congregation (1911 Cliff Valley Way NE) services at 10am, mingle during the coffee and bagel session afterwards and then participate in the peace vigil at 11:30 at N. Duid Hills and Clairmont Ave.

Now someone's just messing with me

I decided to go check out my blog stats. I look over at my google searches and found a good one:

unitarian universalist love machine and pornsite filmmaker. . . ;-)

Anyone want to fess up to this one? Is it a good or bad thing that I am already the #1 hit for this google search?

Near Death Experience

I work from home and have a turned my sun room into an office. So I am surrounded by windows. One window has a large, beautiful spiderweb covering it. A bumblebee just flew into it. I watched as she tried to pull herself free. Then she started to roll around, which I thought would make it worse. But her size and weight allowed to break free and live another day.

It was only 3 seconds long, but that's a bumblebee with a new lease on life.

The Roller Coaster of Dating

In one short week I went from being content with being single, to finding the woman of my dreams, to entering into emotional limbo. I feel like posting as a way to process my feelings. I already wrote on post earlier on my personal Live Journal, but have already deleted that one. I still feel like writing.

Have you ever had something that was too good to be true? 2006 was like that for me. I won custody of my daughter, found a good girlfriend, got a good job, got a good car, moved into a good neighborhood, and found UUCA. This was in contrast to 2005, where I was living in an unknown city with no friends, only saw Audrey 2 out of every 6 weeks, had no dating life, and was unemployed for 6 months.

So all during 2006, I kept saying that things were too good to be true. I was waiting for the anvil to drop at any time. I only had temporary custody of Audrey. I had huge divorce debt that would swallow me alive if I lost my job. Things was good, but I know it could all disappear at a moment's notice.

Now it's 2007 and I still have my job (with a few raises), won permanent custody of Audrey, finalized my divorce, going to be a lay minister for UUCA, and have reduced my debt immensely. I decided to part ways with the girlfriend a few months ago. Things were going so well, that I was content with being a single father. I also recently found a great social life through the 20s/30s group from UUCA. I still pursued an occasional date, but had no intentions of getting serious with anyone.

Isn't that when it always happens?

The timing was unreal. I decided to redo my online personals profile. She had just created her profile. She was the first email I sent that morning. My email was the first one she received. We chatted all day via email. Then we chatted for 5 hours on the phone that night. Then we had out first date the following night -- a 10.5 date that neither of us wanted to end. We've seen each other every day this week, usually sacrificing sleep to do so. And it was all too much.

Too much for her, and too much for me. She was the first to admit it. But we both felt it. So she stepped back to take a breather, and that's a good thing. Maybe it will save things, maybe we already broke it. You would hope that something as powerful as we had for the last few days can survive a reboot. Now I am in a place that I am sure many of you have been, emotional limbo. It's a odd place -- little bit of pain, little bit of guilt. And a lot of uncertainty laced with hope. Sigh -- So goes the dating life.

Well, this post served it's purpose. I feel much better now. Doesn't change the reality of things, but it's good therapy.

I went looking for a look for a good Emerson quote to go out with a bang and help support my story. Instead I found one that contradicts it and reminds me that my happiness is not the most important thing in the world.

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Best Blog post today - punchline included!

I found this gem by Barbara Merritt on UU World. It's an excerpt from Amethyst Beach: Meditations, copyright 2007 by Barbara Merritt (Skinner House Books). Read down to the last line.

...

The thing I found most remarkable about the vehicle in front of us was that we owned it. My husband and younger son were driving our Jeep up to Maine, and we followed. After staring at our car for some miles, and noticing the attention it was attracting from drivers-by, I decided that this was an auspicious moment to have a discussion with my older child about “nonmaterialism.” I explained, trying to keep a straight face, that his father and I were dedicated to an ethic of simplicity, diminishing consumption, and intentional reduction in material accumulation.

My son greeted this pronouncement with hysterical laughter. Even I had to chuckle. But I was persistent, and after his raucous laughter subsided, I explained how, throughout our married life we had, both of us, consistently chosen jobs that paid less, even when we were offered positions that paid more; how we had invested our modest resources into education and travel rather than in real estate and furniture; and how we tried constantly to decrease our dependence and reliance on material wealth. Notwithstanding the visual evidence to the contrary, we were working to simplify our lifestyle.

Robert listened to everything I said, and then he replied, “I understand Mom. You and Dad are nonmaterialistic. You just aren’t very good at it.”

Classic.

Mingle² - This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

• death (5x)
• pain (2x)
• dangerous (1x)

I guess I'm pretty morbid... Gotta pick up the tone!

Empathy and Stoicism

I, like many other men in my generation, was brought up to not to cry. Not to say this was a direct teaching of my parents, but the overall effect of my upbringing. My parents, on the other hand, are recovering hippies and did their best to try to counter the teachings of society. So I developed this interesting dichotomy of dealing with emotional pain.

In times of stress and where other people need a foundation, I handle emotional pain like any good father/husband/boyfriend/male -- by being strong foundation and holding together the family/friendship/parter. But when alone, or in a comfortable place, I find my empathy overwhelming. I use the simplest of opportunities to catch up on all the crying I should have done when being stoic for someone else. When I do open up, not only do I process overdue emotions from myself, I seem to be a beacon for empathy. The rest of the day (or week sometimes) I feel and experience the emotions of everyone around me.

I bring this up on this blog because of my plans to enter into UU lay ministry. Pastoral Care is a large part of this endeavor. Before my marriage, I was the guy that everyone went to for advice. When I studied as a Shaman, my goal was to help people spiritually, and I was fairly good at it. Unfortunately, things changed after my sister died. I could make many guesses and rationalizations on why, but the bottom line was my role changed. Soon after her death, I became a husband, a step-dad, and then a father. I think my stoic side took over. I was no longer the emotional supporter for my peers.

Over the last 2 years, as divorce and single parenthood changed my station yet again, I find myself filling the role as an empath again. Maybe it has to do with reconnecting with my spirituality. Maybe it has to do for my acceptance of the divorce. Maybe it has to do with mending the wounds of my sister's passing. Maybe it has to do with being a full time father and loving every second of it. I don't know the reason. All I know is that I feel a lot more nowadays. I feel my own emotions and those around me.

And I like it.

Rev. Anthony David on Fatherhood

Over on The Best of UU, Jess has found a older sermon on Fatherhood by Rev. Anthony David. Anthony has recently been called as the Senior Minister for UUCA. This piece won the UU Men’s Network sermon award in 2002, and was delivered on Father’s Day in 2001. It's been a few days since Father's Day, but since this from our new Senior Minister, I wanted to share. It's very well written. It looks like we have a lot to look forward to once he starting preaching in the fall.

Remembering Fatherhood
by Rev. Anthony David

Today is Father’s Day, and on this day we remember our fathers. I also am a father—I have a nine-year-old daughter named Sophia—and so it is on this day that I feel most aware of belonging to a tradition larger than myself, a tradition passed down from generation to generation, from my grandfather to my father and, finally, to me.

What is fatherhood? On a day like today, it is easy to get sentimental about fatherhood and to end up sounding like a Hallmark card. To be honest, sometimes fatherhood is the place in my life where I feel, most clearly, my “growing edges.” It’s funny. When I was Sophia’s age, I felt I was bulletproof, ready to take on the world. Now, at 34, my hair is turning gray and my stomach is becoming finicky so I have to watch what I eat. Just when I want to be all knowledgeable and wise for Sophia, I realize how much a work in progress I really am.

Well, I suppose I can take heart from something Bill Cosby once said: “If the American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.”

Here’s a scene from several months ago. It is morning, and I am walking Sophia to school. We are late. I tend to get anxious when I am late, so I have already been needling her to hurry up, and this isn’t helping at all. Halfway to school, I notice that her running shoes are untied and the laces are turning brown in the muddy slush of Chicago’s springtime. This irritates me. If I let her do this, is she going to grow up taking things for granted? So I tell her to tie her shoelaces, and my irritation comes through loud and clear. Fed up with all my poking and prodding, she stops walking, turns slowly to face me, stares me down in a way that is somehow strangely familiar, and says, finally, no!

I hasten to explain that it’s unsafe for her shoelaces to be flopping all over the place—she might trip herself up. Besides, she needs to take care or her belongings and show more gratitude for what she has. Things only go downhill from here. Sophia is furious and stalks off, doesn’t wait for me. She’s ten feet ahead when something very odd happens. My identity splits. Part of me stands back from the whole scene and feels, in a word, sheepish. Why am I being so controlling? How absurd it all is! The other part of me, meanwhile, can’t let it alone, can’t walk away. Just like Mom or Dad used to say to me, I say to Sophia, “you just wait! Just wait ‘till you have your own children, and then you’ll see what it’s like!”

What is fatherhood? Sometimes it is like a time warp in which the tracks of past and present blend and blur together. So as to achieve clarity and consciousness about what is happening, the different tracks need to be untangled and sorted. At the same time I am Sophia’s Dad, I am also, like a psychic, channeling my own father. Then there is the question of who, exactly, was late, and who was taking things for granted. I raise this question in light of my anxiety around being late and my irritation at the thought of anyone taking things for granted.

The fact that my anxiety and irritation were so extreme and almost out of control suggests that, in some strange way, I was taking things personally; that, incredibly, I interpreted Sophia’s behavior to indicate something about me, about who I am. Could it be that the real guilty party was me, that I was the one who was late and taking things for granted? Could it be that Sophia became, for me, a screen upon which I projected my own life and inner conflicts?

As odd as this conclusion sounds, my sense is that we project our lives upon our children’s lives very often. When they do something wonderful, we are the ones puffing out our chests. When they do something shameful or embarrassing, we are the ones squirming and blushing. Ultimately, the issues here have to do with healthy boundaries and with taking responsibility. Because it is so easy for boundaries between parent and child to blur, messages about taking responsibility can end up being confusing and self-contradictory. I still think that Sophia should have taken better care of her running shoes, but I am proud of her that she said no to me. She was saying no to all the psychological baggage that, in truth, was mine and belonged only to me.

What is fatherhood? It’s a growing edge, a challenge to become more conscious and aware of myself in the privilege of bringing up Sophia. I also think that fatherhood is a place of passion, of joy and sorrow. My seminary, Meadville Lombard, is affiliated with the University of Chicago, and on Wednesdays the food court there sells milkshakes for one dollar. Sophia and I go every Wednesday—it’s a bonding time for us. Usually we eat a bit of dinner first. Sophia likes Taco Bell, and every time she puts her order in, I watch her as she stands on her tiptoes to speak above the counter. I listen to the music of her songbird voice. I can’t help but remember a time when she was more likely to wear her food than to eat it.

While we eat, we talk. I ask her, What’s going on? How’s life? She tells me about her friends, how so and so is hilarious and how what’s his name is definitely an idiot and I do not like him. She shares the latest joke she’s heard:

“Knock knock,
Who’s there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe you help me with my homework?”

We also talk about school, and I tell her about how seminary is going for me. She complains about her yucky music teacher, and I grip about my yucky hymnody professor.

There is so much I want to teach Sophia and to share with her! I taught her how to ride a bike, and on a sunny day we’ll explore the University of Chicago neighborhood together. When I was still teaching philosophy at Blinn College, Sophia became interested in logic, and so I taught her how to create arguments called “categorical syllogisms,” as in:

All cats are mammals
All mammals are animals
Therefore, all cats are animals

This was fun, and she did a pretty good job with something that even college-level students can have a difficult time with.

There are times, however, when it feels as if we live in different worlds, and there is nothing I can share. At such times, I feel the pure cold of space between us, which is a frozen silence. Once, we were arguing and I asked her to help me to understand where she was coming from. I will never forget what she said in response: “Dad, you will never understand me.” Later, when things cooled down a bit, she told me that she didn’t mean it, that it had to do with the fact that I wasn’t a girl. I wasn’t a girl, so I wouldn’t be able to understand like Mom could. How could I disagree with this? Yet it did not take away my loneliness for her, my memory of standing there helpless, not knowing what to say, wishing more than anything else to be able to understand.

Silence also settles around the issue of work. As a philosopher and now an aspiring minister, I identify with the poet Rilke when he says,

“Sometimes a man stands up during dinner
And walks outdoors and keeps on walking,
Because of a church that stands somewhere in the East.”

A vision of Truth, of God, of Life Abundant grasps me, and I go where I am sent. Yet how can I express my anguish about the time it takes away from being with my family? How would Sophia understand? I feel this so keenly because I was the son of a workaholic, a medical doctor whose patients simply adored him. Medical school taught him how to be a fine doctor, and the world honored him for it. But medical school did not teach him how to be a father, and the world made it difficult for him to juggle work with family.

Lately a big topic of conversation between Sophia and me has been my father’s recent death. We talk about death, what it means to live leaning into one’s inescapable death. I talk as a philosopher and theologian, but I can go only so far before I hit a wall in myself, a wall of pure numbness, which is not about philosophy or theology but about my life. Long before I can get to that point, however, Sophia says, “Dad, you’re getting too serious again!” I honor the boundary she draws, and I snap back from my sadness. There is only so much philosophizing and theologizing you can do with a nine-year-old! Yet I feel like I have been in my life an explorer of strange and new worlds and I yearn to share the sights with Sophia and also to share in what she sees.

Have you ever seen the pictures of medieval explorers, gone so far in their explorations that they have reached the edge of the flat earth, beyond which lies an otherworldly ether populated by strange beasts, angels and demons? With my father’s death, I feel like I have gone to this supernatural otherworld, this place beyond all places, and what I have found is that fatherhood, ultimately, is a place of suspicion and remembrance, anger and reverence.

I have said so many times, “I don’t want to make the same mistakes that my parents made. I want to do better with Sophia than my own Mom and Dad did with me.” And even now I cannot renounce these words. Fathers and mothers, even the best of them, with the best of intentions, hurt us and scar us. There is clear cause for suspicion and anger with the inner parent pops out and says, “You just wait! Just wait ‘till you have your own children, and then you’ll see what it’s like!” and in this way passes along an ancient curse.

But as bad as the hurts and scars might be, still, my father—our fathers—have shaped and formed us, for good and for ill. They are part of a past that has made us into who we are, and we must not turn our backs upon it. It is a past for us to struggle with, to wrestle with until it blesses us. A wise person (Elizabeth Schussler Fiorenza) once said, “The enslavement of a people becomes total when their history is destroyed and solidarity with the dead is made impossible.”

I say this from experience. There have been times when I have tried to forget, to deny, to change my name so that my roots became untraceable. I was like a Stalinist propagandist, airbrushing the politically incorrect out of photographs. The end result was not liberation, not more freedom, but a feeling off living in limbo, of existing nowhere, of being a mere abstraction. It is fatherhood, ultimately, that has taught me to affirm my father and to love him even though at the same time I must struggle with his memory and wrestle a blessing out of him.

On this day, which is father’s day, may we remember our fathers in suspicion and love, anger and reverence. If we are fathers ourselves, may we accept and know our growing edges, may we embrace the passion of fatherhood and to it, ever say yes.

Source: Rev. Anthony David, UU Men’s Network Sermon Award 2002 (PDF file)

Google Searches

This new blog has been active for about a month now, so I am starting to see traffic from google searches. Some of them are expected, but check out number 2. Bonus points for those readers who can point to which post I mention 'pornsite'.

1. belief o matic
2. pornsite journey
3. uu 7 principles
4. gnu uu
5. religion+2 minutes
6. xavier uuca blog
7. history of religion 2 minutes
8. "7 principles" movie themes
9. "william r. murry"
10. being a uu minister

Installing Love

Blatantly stolen from CUUMBAYA.

Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE?

Customer: I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?

Customer Service Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART?

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

Customer Service Rep: What programs are running?

Customer: Let me see.... I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

Customer Service Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEMEXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Customer Service Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

Customer Service Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

Customer Service Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops...I have an error message already. What should I do?

Customer Service Rep: What does the message say?

Customer: It says, "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS". What does that mean?

Customer Service Rep: Don't worry, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.

Customer: So what should I do?

Customer Service Rep: Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

Customer Service Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

Customer Service Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART!

Customer Service Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go...

Customer: Yes?

Customer Service Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.

Happy Daddy's Day

Happy Daddy's Day to everyone out there who have the awesome opportunity to have the love of a child. Here's a few recent pics to share of my lovely little girl:

Recharged and Ready to go!

I would like to thank my new friends that invited me to the beach for two weekends in a row, the 20s/30s group at UUCA. Not only did I have an absolute blast, I came back with a new energy. A take-on-the-world type of energy. I am looking forward to spending more time with each any every one of you. If anyone needs a favor, you got a new guy on your list. I am just very appreciative of the hospitality you offered to a newcomer.

I kept forgetting that I had a camera with me, so I only took a few pictures. Anyways, until next time.

PS. For all you doubters.

Back to the beach!

I got to spend a few days with the UUCA 20s/30s group in Panama City last weekend. Those that could take off from work stayed all week. Well, my plans for this weekend feel through, so I am off to the beach again. Great fun! It's nice to spend some grown-up time while my daughter is at her mother's for summer visitation. And here's a silly LOLcat to match my mood:

Answering the question, Why?

A friend of mine posted the following question and wanted to share my response. She has a good post about her first experience with The Book of Mormon. The thread in her post is also worth a visit.

Whether or not you cared to read the above about my own spiritual exploration, I invite you to contribute to my research. For any who would care to answer, I'd like to know simply: Why do you believe in the divine? Monotheist, polytheist, whatever your religion, I don't much care. I'm not even (right now) interested in why you choose your particular religion. I'd like to know, in your own words, why you believe there is a god. Have you felt the divine spark? Do you think you have seen, heard, or felt god? Simply do you find the universe impossible without some sort of great creator(s) out there? If you were raised to believe in god, has there ever been a time when you doubted that and had to find your faith on your own?

Such a good question. I have come to realize that there are multiple perspectives. So even thought I have dismissed the idea on a separate omnipotent entity, I no longer dismiss those that do view God in that way. My perspective is that God is the combination of the consciousness of all living things. We possess amazing power and knowledge as a whole. But that is my humble perspective. Even those that do not see any divine presence and figure everything is casual, I respect their perspective as well. There is no 'one truth' but 'multiple truths'.

Because I accept multiple truths, my choices for a 'religion' is limited. I associated myself as a pagan for a long time. But with being a single father, I wanted a more structured community to be a part of. That led me to Unitarian Universalism.

But I think I have a more exact answer for you question, "Why do you believe in the divine?". I need to know that there is something bigger than me. That as a whole, humankind is inherently good and we all have the capacity to love. Why do I believe in the divine... to give me hope that we can improve our world, spread love and understanding, and teach the next generation that there is a reason for living a life full of love.

So would you say that yours is a conscious choice of belief, such that it's possible? You would like to believe these things are true, and so you choose to believe it. Much in the same way that in a dangerous situation, you might tell yourself it's all going to be okay?

Yes, belief to me is a conscious choice. That may be my existentialist upbringing showing, but whether we are responding to an emotional or supernatural experience, I propose that we have to accept or dismiss that experience. Therefore it is a conscious choice to believe in something. In many different folklores, choice is one of the definitions on being human.

I certainly support the notion that choice is indeed a very large and necessary component of being human. This is why I find it such an extraordinary combination with contemplation of that which is not human, or more than human.

I've always figured that if there is a god, he offers free will because we're more entertaining that way. We are capable of the unexpected. But why be so mysterious about his existence? Why not be outright about it? Why offer choice, and make it a difficult one? What worth is real faith like that? I don't know.

If as you suppose, divinity is a label for the super consciousness of all human (and all?) life, then choice is part and parcel of it. The existence is in the awareness, and the awareness is in the choice. That is in itself an interesting meditation.

I respect your choice, and I wish you good things with it, for yourself and your daughter. I think it's wonderful!

Beginning the Path as a UU Lay Minister

I am very excited to announce that I have been accepted into the class for UU Lay Ministry at UUCA. As I posted earlier, I am looking forward to helping out with both the growth of UUCA under a new senior minister and helping out the members congregation. I know this stage in my life I will be learning a lot more from the congregation, but I am confident that I can help in some way. I don't know 100% about what I am jumping into, but it's going to be fun and rewarding. Ever since reconnecting with my spirituality after my divorce, I have been on a good path. Honestly, ever since that journal entry I made seeking a religion based on love, things have gone in the right direction for me. Maybe I can spread that good luck to others.

In the Morning of God by fs8gbe

This is a song and video created by a friend of mind. His music inspires varies emotions and this song seems appropriate for this blog. I hope you enjoy it.

Lay Ministry

I have put my name in the hat for Lay Ministry at UUCA. I have a past history for helping people spiritually as a Shaman and being a leader, so I am very excited about using my history to do good work at UUCA. I had an interview tonight with a Lay Minister and a Professional Minister (who also was a Lay Minister before going pro). The interview has really excited me about the prospect, and I will sit on pins and needles until they decide who will be selected to join the program. I worry that my age and newness to UU will be an issue.

They brought up some interesting points like my role in the church changing. As a lay minister, I would not be as free to voice a dissenting opinion or take a position. It reminds me when I took a jump from technical person to management the first time (I eventually went back to being technical, but ironically I am making jump back into management). As a manager I was asked to be sure to understand the goals of the company and to save disagreement of those goals to be discussed with other managers. I believe that this is what they were trying to convey. I do see the need for this. The position of a congregation could have a much larger impact on someone's life than a change in company policy. Some might think the welcoming nature of UU allows for public dissent. This may be true, but when you are building a foundation of trust for a congregation, you need to represent a united message. So that people can can faith in the organization as well as the people running it. There's place for dissent, but to do with the staff so to not cause confusion in the congregation.

The other thing that seemed interesting to me is to what degree UU can help people with they need it. I read A Faith for All Seasons by William R. Murry over the extended weekend and it highlighted ways that UU can help those needing big questions answered. It gave ways of applying the 7 principles to give a strong foundation to really allow someone to heal. This has really peaked my interest in pastoral care. I thought I would be doing more leadership type activities, since that is my strong suit, but this stuff is very powerful, at least to me. I can't wait to read more as I go through the lay ministry program. I hope to learn enough to make UU resonate for most people, no matter their background.

I do hope that I will be a part of the ministry staff at UUCA, because I am very excited about being a UU and being a member of UUCA. With a new senior minister starting this fall, there will great things happening at UUCA and I want to help make it happen.