She was a great woman

Benazir Bhutto Assassinated

Home for the Holidays

My job is great. Most of the year I work from home, have challenging and stimulating assignments, and get to travel occasionally. But sometimes the occasional travel piles up in a row. This month I have been to New York, Kuala Lumpur, and Kentucky (the latter being a family trip). From December 1st until the 23rd, I only slept at home 3 nights transitioning from one trip to the other. I missed out on all the holiday social events, all the hectic shopping, and tons of fun UUCA events.

We did a fun Christmas tour. It started in Kentucky with my family there. Audrey and the boys got extremely spoiled and we all had a blast. Christmas Eve was spent with former family members and my Parents. Santa came and treated our new family well. After a few hours of playing, it was off to non-custodial parents. We finished the tour up with dessert and drinks at Leah's parents.

It was a crazy month for other reasons, too. In New York, I proposed to Leah. As some of you know, I am a single dad and she has two boys. So we are combining households. It is very exciting. I love having a full house again, and Audrey loves her new soon-to-be brothers and her new soon-to-be stepmother. In fact she has started referring to them as such. This all makes me very happy.

However, my two bedroom to a bit too small for the full circus. So we are looking for a bigger place. The only hard rules are being inside the Morningside school district, 3 bedrooms, and less than $2000 a month. We're not ready to buy yet, so we are looking for something to rent. It's a challenging task, being in the middle of the holidays, but the sooner we can make this happen, the easier life will be for everyone in the family.

So while it's nice to have the next week off of work, it will be spent getting things ready for my new family. Do not mistake this post for complaints... I am loving this new phase in my life. However, it is a bit tiring. Tonight I do get to sleep in my bed with my fiancée in my house. :)

I got some cool books from Leah... I'll post about that soon. Happy Holidays everyone.

Ann Richards, on Her Father

"I've always had the feeling that I could do anything; my daddy told me I could, and I was in college before I found out he might be wrong."

--Ann Richards, feminist and governor of Texas, 1991 to 1995.

New Age Frauds & Plastic Shamans

I found an interesting website today, NAFPS: New Age Frauds & Plastic Shamans. This site is great, because when I was a teenager I hungered for knowledge about American Indian spirituality. I almost invested money into a place offering me training. Luckily for me, I found my own path by meeting a Cherokee shaman. I wish I had a site like this to help guide me back then.

Do you think you are "Indian at heart" or were an Indian in a past life? Do you admire native ways and want to incorporate them into your life and do your own version of a sweat lodge or a vision quest? Have you seen ads, books, and websites that offer to train you to be come a shaman in an easy number of steps, a few days on the weekend, or for a fee?

Have you really thought this all the way through? Have you thought about how native people feel about what you might want to do?

Please think about these important points before you take that fateful step and expend time, money, and emotional investment:

Native people DO NOT believe it is ethical to charge money for any ceremony or teaching. Any who charge you even a penny are NOT authentic.

Native traditionalists believe the ONLY acceptable way to transmit traditional teachings is orally and face-to-face. Any allegedly traditional teachings in books or on websites are NOT authentic.

Learning medicine ways takes decades and must be done with great caution and patience out of respect for the sacred. Any offer to teach you all you need to know in a weekend seminar or two is wishful thinking at best, fraud at worst.

Reading the Liturgy

I wanted to give everyone a heads up that I will be the Liturgist this Sunday at UUCA. It's my first official act at Lay Minister in training. I will also be helping light the Hanukkah candles. My work schedule is very full right now, so it's nice to have to make some time for something non work.

Speaking of... time to go back to work. Come to UUCA this Sunday!!!

Pictures from the Proposal Night

She said YES!

Yesterday, I got done with work around 4. I got impatient with hailing a cab, so I walked back to my hotel, 11 blocks downtown, 3.5 block crosstown. It took me 20 minutes. I got to the room and quickly changed into jeans and sweater. I moved the ring box that had been in my computer bag since Saturday to my jacket pocket while Leah was in the bathroom.

The plan was simple. I took her Rockefeller Plaza, 25 blocks uptown. I had to remove my scarf and gloves because we were walking so fast. Yesterday was the warmest day here all week, with a high of 44. Unfortunately, it was also the windiest. We walked up 6th street (The Avenue of the Americas). I made a bee line to the skating rink once we found Rockefeller Plaza. It was busy and crowded, but not impossible. It took us around 15 minutes to get through the line, buy tickets, get our skates and get on the ice.

I had been planning this moment since I found out that I was going to New York. The original plan was for Savannah, a planned vacation at the end of the month. When I found out that IBM was sending me to New York, I though that would be so much better than Savannah. The problem is that I had to move plans up a month. The previous two weeks has been crazy. I had to talk to both set of parents, get the ring moved up, and talk with Audrey. I got everything done, except the ring that I wanted. No time to make the ring I wanted. I got the diamond I wanted and the jeweler put it a tiffany setting. I can bring it back next week for them to make the correct setting.

I had never been to Rockefeller Plaza before, only seen pictures. It was gorgeous. The rink was not very crowded at all. We started skating around and I started getting super nervous. We circle once, twice, and then a third time. I couldn't find the right words to start. Leah joked, saying, "Are you purposely skating away from the edge so I will fall down?" I thought to myself, "Yes and No", but just laughed it off. I unzipped my jacket and the zippered inside pocked that held the ring.

Finally I pulled her to the middle of the ice. I told her that I wanted to be there for her for the rest of our lives. That I would love her and protect her forever. She seem to note the difference in my tone. I got down on one knee. I continued to talk, but I couldn't tell you exactly what I said. The rink started spinning as my nervousness manifested itself into dizziness. Dizziness + Tearing up + Ice + trying to put my love into words + being on one knee was hard, but thankfully I didn't fall down.

At this point I tried to remove the ring from my jacket. I didn't unzip enough, and my nervousness made it challenging to remove the box. It finally popped out. I opened it and asked her to marry me. Unfortunately, I opened the box upside down. She gracefully turned it for me and said yes. At this point I was reminded that we had an audience of a few hundred people. They cheered. Leah removed her glove and I put the ring on her finger. We hugged and held each other for a few minutes.

We started to skate again. I couldn't feel my legs, since all the blood had rushed to my head. I tried very hard to make the moment perfect. I had also tried very hard to make it a surprise. Leah told me that I was successful on both counts. You can read her blog entry about last night here. We might have video available. With the flood of "Congratulations" from everyone, a pair of women filmed the whole thing. I gave her my email address. Hopefully that will work out.

We continued the night with the Saks Fifths Avenue window displays, a scroll down Fifth Avenue, dinner at Artisanal Fromagerie and Bistro, and a climb up the Empire State Building. The winds were brutal up top, but it made for a wonderful memory. Someone recognized us from the skating rink for one more "Congratulations".

Leah has brought me such happiness, I wanted to make her feel as special as I am happy. We made a night full of wonderful memories. And now I am engaged.

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